11 hours agoMember-onlyIs the poly community toxic?Polyamory has a lot of love to give…but as usual, trauma survivors need to be more careful than most. — As I’m walking down the street in East Portland, I pass by a woman in her early twenties who says to her friend, exasperated, “Why is everybody in this city poly?” A couple of times a year I’ll get lonely (or bored) and open an account on a dating app…Polyamory6 min readPolyamory6 min read
Oct 26, 2022Member-onlyAutism and the “right” way to grieveAutistics feel just as hard, if not harder, than neurotypicals. Society is just ill-equipped to see “alternative” methods of grieving as valid. — One winter morning in 2006, when I was 15 years old, my mom left the house for her office job like normal. Enduring a persistent and growing headache, she decided instead to take a detour to the hospital for a check-up. She never returned. Following the scariest phone call of…Autism7 min readAutism7 min read
Oct 20, 2022Member-onlyStop trying to “confront” your narcissistTrust me; that closure you want isn’t worth it. — Narcissism has been a hot topic for years now, and for good reason. To put it simply, narcs are a nuisance — physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They’ll threaten to take everything you care about, destroy your self-esteem, turn your closest friends against you, and manage to dole out absolute…Relationships6 min readRelationships6 min read
Published in ZORA·Oct 13, 2022Member-onlyAutistic Women and the Scourge of the Manic Pixie Dream GirlSay it with me, guys: manic pixie dream girls aren’t real. — It is time, once again, to talk about the manic pixie dream girl (MPDG) — the Hollywood trope of a blue-haired young woman with zero regard for social mores, a free spirit who sets her inner life aside as she gleefully encourages a sullen main character to stop sulking, chase…Autism6 min readAutism6 min read
Sep 7, 2022Member-onlyMen and women can be friends, but not like thisI never signed up to be female validation on demand. — Lately, my neighbor, who is usually pretty chill, has been asking me out to random events on a moment’s notice. Am I coming to the apartment mixer? Am I free in an hour for drinks? …Hegemonic Masculinity5 min readHegemonic Masculinity5 min read
Aug 6, 2022Member-onlyAmazon thinks all autistic people are childrenIt is damn near impossible to find books about autism that are written by people who are actually autistic, much less one written by a woman. There are precious few societies, if any at all, that are built with neurodivergent people in mind. We’re expected to dance the dance of…Autism3 min readAutism3 min read
May 24, 2022Member-onlyWhy burnout during COVID hits differentThere aren’t enough hours in the day to properly grieve for our losses. — In the early days of lockdown, in the face of incredible uncertainty, many of us tried to put on a brave face and make the most of our time indoors. Making bread! Learning at-home workouts! Going to stupid daily walks for our stupid mental health! We stayed optimistic, knowing in…Mental Health4 min readMental Health4 min read
Apr 12, 2022Member-onlyHow I learned to stop worrying and embrace ghosting people(In the age of transactional relationships) — Lately, it feels like many of us are circling the drain socially, losing the plot of what it means to be a human being in community with others. It’s easy to see why: our nearby support networks have shifted or disappeared entirely over the past couple of years. In the…Relationships4 min readRelationships4 min read
Apr 5, 2022Member-onlyWhy your favorite creators are burning outIt’s easy to envy successful creators when we can’t see the invisible work that makes them that way. — Wildly successful creator D’Angelo Wallace started off in the YouTube art community. It’s a pretty niche corner of the YouTube ecosystem with clear diversity in quality. You have the speedpainters, producing start-to-finish masterpieces and walking you through how they did it; the art commentary channels, which are essentially just podcasts…Creators4 min readCreators4 min read
Apr 1, 2022Member-onlySome of your best friends are autisticIt’s November 2020. Sia is getting dragged for producing an insensitive dumpster fire of a film, crammed with harmful stereotypes and imagery that feels to many neurodivergent people like staring directly into the sun. And completely unaware of all of this, 30-year-old me is “coming out” to a few of…Autism5 min readAutism5 min read
